Being Present

So the Uganda Studies Program I did had us read this book by John Taylor called Primal Vision. The author talked a lot about being present, so we did, too. Of course, he and we were only part of a conversation that goes back to the beginning, but it’s on my mind. We were urged to be more present with people in Uganda, and to be more present with God – to make where we were and who we were with our priority, instead of letting our mind go elsewhere. That means being a person who truly sees those that are around him or her, without being distracted or blinding oneself to something or someone.

When I was in Uganda, just a little over two years ago, I was oddly more present with some peeps back stateside than I had been before. Being present isn’t only about physicality – it is, I think, more about priority, how much you value the people you’re with, the relationships you have.

When I think about being present, fully, to me that includes really engaging your world, not just passively floating through it. You’re right there in the thick of it with hands dirty, not trying to stay off to the side. You’re present. Your heart’s there, in the work.

Music (and ultimately anything else I think) can be used as an escape from being present, or it can be used as a way to become more present, to listen, understand and respond more fully to the world around you.

I began writing this because I was thinking about the cost of not being physically present in Cali anymore. I was mourning the experiences I would miss: weekend visits with Avi and Alicia La Mirada, getting to grow with and get to know Joanna, as well as the entire FIT group. Continuing new relationships with great people from the OC Music Awards and the bands, figuring out how to be human with old friends like Christina. And of course, my mom and dad. Not getting to be with my mom and dad, experiencing life with them. That is a big one.

So I was mourning what I would miss – and honestly I still am a little. But I know what I said earlier is true – that being present is more than just physicality. I want to be present to those I care about, and in a way this is a resolution to do so. But it’s also a resolution do be present in life, wherever I am. The past year or so has been so much fuller, as I was trying to be more present. I didn’t know life could be so…fun. And crazy. And interesting. And scary. I kind of like it. And a lot of that was thanks to you guys, for letting me be present with you, and being present with me. And so, now this isn’t so much a resolution I guess as a thank you. For you-know-who-you-ares, and also for present people who just happen to be present with other people, not me.